


Young

by Niksuki



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, POV Otabek Altin, Rating will change, pinning otabek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-12 00:37:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13535955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niksuki/pseuds/Niksuki
Summary: Before, the music had made everything seem so clear even with the noise of it all but now, even in the depth of silence, everything was so deafening.A mild AU where Otabek is torn between ice skating music and dealing with his feelings for Yuri.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a one-shot, but I split it into chapters because it was getting way too long. (In this story the year that Otabek got Bronze never happened)

November was the worst month of the year in his opinion. Some people would agree due to the harsh weather that normally set in around the end of the year, but for him it just reminded him of another skating season just beyond horizon.

Another season of being painfully reminded that he most likely wasn’t going to place.

Before, missing the podium would have just driven him to train harder in order to place next time, but now at the age of 21 and after almost 5 consecutive years of coming in next to last, he had grown increasingly weary. Even now lacing up his skates on one of the ice rinks benches, he was sluggish. Staring at the white strings with an absent mind as his fingers involuntarily tied them in a pattern that had become so instinctive it was almost second nature. Feeling the chill of the air that swirled around him used to be invigorating to him, but now it was as if it simply settled around him and caused the air to be that much heavier on his shoulders. The thing that he used to bring him a kind of semblance of joy within his life had become a burden to him.

Wrapped up so tightly in his thoughts, he never heard the skid of metal through the hard ice of the rink and never saw the person who had approached him from afar. It was Yuri. Dressed in his normal all black skating attire with his now shoulder length blond hair braided back out of his face so that you could see both his eyes. Eyes that still looked so lively after years in the battlefield while he knew his own were so dim.

The blonde placed a single fist upon his hip, and with the other hand, gestured to the bench in which he was seated upon.

“What are you still doing sitting down?”

Pulling the final loop on his left skate taut, he then removed the guards from the blades and set them aside.

“I was just thinking about stuff.” Was his lame reply, but then Yuri actually looked mildly interested.

“What kind of stuff?”

He didn’t even have to rack his head for his next lie. “My program for this season. What I’m gonna do for it...The song too.”

At this the boy in front of him brightened. “Cool. I’ve kind of started on mine too, getting the geezer to help out with it, as for the song though not sure about it yet.”

Hearing this was of no surprise to him of course, Yuri always started working on his programs fairly early. Most skaters would try to develop a new skill or further their own talents before having anything set in stone but Yuri, he could do all three simultaneously 99% of the time without flaw easily. It’s one of the things that amazed him about Yuri. He was a positively brilliant skater.

He then offered a small grin before placing the guards in his bag and stripping off his team Kazakhstan jacket. “I’m sure you’ll think of something soon.”

“Actually...” He looked to Yuri and saw him fiddle with his fingers a little as a bashful look washed over his face. “I was gonna ask you to help me with that. The song I mean.”

The request itself wasn’t out of the ordinary or new to him. He could remember vividly when they were younger; mixing a song for Yuri for his exhibition to skate to after he won gold that year. It was a last minute ordeal for them both, having to come up with a song and a new program for and exhibition skate in less than 2 days was daunting but of course Yuri managed. It was a time that he still looked back on fondly and one that never ceased to make him smile whenever he thought about it. Running around with Yuri all over Barcelona, high on a rush of adrenaline over his first gold was probably the most fun he’d had in ages.

“If you’re gonna be busy with something else just tell me.” Hearing Yuri’s voice had caused him to break free of his memory induced stupor. “It’s not a problem, I can always dig something-“

“No,”he spoke abruptly with a shake of his head, he then moved to stand in front of Yuri which caused the blonde to take a step or two back. “I mean, I’m not busy right now, I can help you mix a song for your program.”

Yuri gazed up at him, smile intact. “Okay, Cool.”

“Otabek, Yuratchka,” Their attention was drawn by the shrill of a whistle to the center of the rink where a very red Yakov stood with the rest of team Russia. “Stop talking and get over here!”

The echoing boom of Yakov’s voice ripped throughout the rink and he could practically feel it’s vibration in his bones, but Yuri however was unsurprisingly unfazed.

“Don’t give yourself a heart attack old man, we’re coming!”

Yuri stepped back down onto the ice and began to push himself forward but not before turning around briefly to face him.

“I’ll see you after practice, okay.”

He watched Yuri make his way to the middle of the rink, hands defiantly crossed over his chest as Yakov scolded him with a wag of his finger and he only gave a small chuckle before making his way on the ice as well.

* * *

 

6 hours later into the evening when practice had officially concluded, the rink was practically emptied of its occupants save the large (and fairly loud) zamboni that was inching its way across the rink’s surface. He was on a bench opposite the rink’s entrance bent over to undo his skates and after so much time doing such grueling exercises and jumps, the pressure had built up immensely on the soles of his feet, but after loosening the laces, all the pressure was almost instantly released but the ache was still there. He knew that even with the socks that he wore, that the years that he had spent skating had left them mangled, but he had somehow grown somewhat numb to it all as they went by. Tucking the laces into their insides, he picked up the skates and threw them into the sack at his side. He then arose to tug the bag’s strap across his shoulder and adjusted it so it wouldn’t strain on his already tense neck. At the sound of footsteps jogging his way, his head perked upwards only to see another head full of blonde hair swaying in speed with them. Yuri’s hair had come a loose from its braiding, no doubt from all those high speed spins as well as how fast he normally skates, which was more than enough to knock over a fully grown man, now flopped down to his shoulders, strays and all.

“Hey,” Yuri stopped a half foot away from him. “That was a way shorter practice than usual wasn’t it?”

Yuri pulled a piece of purple elastic from his wrist, and in one swift motion gathered his hair up, twisted it around and snapped the band around the bundle of hair in form of an extremely messy bun.

“Well for Yakov anyway, normally training lasts for half an entire day.”

And thank God that it didn’t. Even after a full month of staying in Russia to train under the acclaimed coach his body had still not acclimated to the stiff, and strict demanding nature of Yakov Feltsman.

“Otabek,”. For what felt like the 5th time today Yuri’s voice had shaken him out of his thoughts. He looked down at the boy, only to see him staring back with a single arched brow. “You didn’t hear me?”

He shook his head and ran his fingers through his once slicked back hair. “No, sorry.”

Yuri rolled his eyes. “I said where are we headed to? You wanna go to your place or mine?”

Normally whenever they would hang out with each other and weren’t planning on going much of anywhere, he would agree to go to Yuri’s place considering his place was larger and had more things for them to do since he was still moving into his new apartment. But now with how worn out he physically felt and also because of how close it was to the rink he thought that the former would be best.

“My place is fine.”

* * *

He waited for about 30 minutes for Yuri to shower and change out of his training gear into his everyday wear, idly checking accounts and texts on his phone as he did to pass the time. A minute or two later, Yuri reemerged from down the hall in some plain jeans, a faded out t-shirt and his hair partially wet. Instead of a messy bun, it was neatly combed back into a ponytail that still managed to swing behind him as he walked back to the main rink.

“Sorry I took so long,” he watched as Yuri bent slightly sideways to wring out whatever remaining water was in his hair and then flip it back over his shoulder and he felt a faint spark go off beneath his chest as he did it. “You know for a public rink those bathrooms are surprisingly un-shitty.”

That, although wasn’t a total surprise to him considering the furthermost stalls in the back are especially reserved for the Russian figure skating team.

“I’m gonna go shut off the lights I’ll meet you by the door.”

He nodded, his eyes trailing after Yuri’s figure just as he disappeared around the corner into what he assumed was Yakov’s office to find the main electrical terminal. One by one the overhead lights went dark, resounding like echoing faded booms until only the natural sunlight from outside poured through the large windows mounting the outer edges of the rink. Making his way around the curving walkway he could tell the Yuri wasn’t too far behind due to the jingling of what he assumed to be numerous keys.

Seconds later Yuri had caught up to him, holding the ring of said keys for him to see. “Yakov gave them to me before he left, told me to stay a little longer to go over those new quads for practice.”

“And of course you’re not going to right?”

Yuri then gripped the keys tight within his fist and twisted his lips into that of a devious smile. “What Yakov doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

“He’s given you too much power.”

Yuri shrugged. “I mean maybe, if I actually cared about staying late in the rink. Now if he gave me the keys to his and Lila's giant penthouse then that’s way more of a win.”

The two of them made it to the large double doors on the far side of the rink and he was ready to push the doors open when he saw Yuri pause abruptly beside him.

“Shit,” he folded his arms together across his chest, sucking his teeth. “Don’t have my jacket.”

“Did you leave it in the changing rooms?”

Yuri shook his head. “At home. Don’t think I ever brought it.”

Yuri took to biting his bottom lip, it was what he did whenever his was thinking of making any type of decision he noticed and switched his gaze between the doors as well as the hall that lead back to the dressing rooms, before eventually turning back to him.

“Your apartment’s only a block away right?”

“Yuri it’s like 12 degrees outside.”

“What,” he exclaimed. “It’s only gonna take 10 minutes to get there I’ll be fine.”

But he already knew that he wouldn’t. Yuri’s stubbornness was yet another thing that he admired about him but this was majorly in the areas of skating. Not when it came to practically freezing to death. In Russia, especially in November, no one in their right mind would be caught in anything less than an extremely thick sweater and he was only dressed in the complete opposite of that.

Without a hint of hesitation, he paused and took off his team Kazakhstan jacket that he was wearing as well as the scarf, walked over to the boy and put them both around Yuri’s shoulders.

“There.”

Yuri blinked twice at this and it wasn’t that he was completely oblivious to the sudden blush that appeared on Yuri’s high cheekbones as he fixed the scarf around his neck, it’s just that the more he thought about it, the more he became aware of his own.

“Thanks,” was Yuri’s soft and stuttered reply.”But... What about you?”

Turning back around, he walked back over to his sports back that he had placed in the floor. Bending down, he unzipped the bag and rummaged around within it, pulling out his familiar, tattered thick leather jacket as well as the matching set of gloves before going to putting them both on.

“I’m good.”

* * *

  
Riding back to his flat was fairly easy for it had stopped snowing hours before they had actually left and the roads weren’t that busy. It did however take longer than expected due to the fact that he had to drive slowly in precaution to the snow on the road, but in that time he was too busy focusing on the fact that Yuri had a vice grip around his waist as well as his face buried in his back in order to fight the biting cold air and of course he found it mildly amusing. Once Yuri had heard him laughing he had sent a muffled “shut up” through clenched teeth his way and it only served to further the smug like smirk upon his face. He parked his bike on the third level of the parking deck, closest to the elevator and they both dismounted it to make their way inside the lift. It took about seven minutes to ascend to his correct floor as well as find his apartment and upon reaching his door, he retrieved his keys and swiftly unlocked it, pushing inside to let Yuri enter first.

Pulling the scarf down from around his face (to reveal a particularly red nose) he stopped just shy of the living room. “Wow, would've thought you would’ve spruced this place up by now. It's still pretty empty."

"I've thought about it," he shut the door closed behind him and flipped the handle locked. "But decorating isn't really high on my priority list right now."

It wasn't truthfully, but he did however agree with Yuri that the place was pretty gray as of now (literally). He was thinking about buying some things or even unpacking his closet some more to make the place feel a little more like home, but he just didn't have much time for leisurely tasks these days.

"I could help you out with that if you want," Yuri spoke, and he followed his voice to spot him twirling slowly around near the kitchen now taking in the surrounding area. He then let his hand trail the edge of the kitchen counter. "Pretty good with all of that interior design stuff. I did my place."

And he could attest to this. Yuri's flat was pretty modern and practically completely white, save for some splashes of his favored cheetah print, but all in all it was pretty impressive.

"I'll keep it in mind."

"Sweet," Yuri reached over the counter chairs to pluck a single apple from the display tray before biting into it. "Think of it as my IOU. For you helping me with my program music."

He watched as Yuri disappeared around the corner into his studio office, and after discarding his jacket onto the living room couch he followed shortly after. Walking through the open archway he saw Yuri swiveling in the tall black office chair situated just before his triple desktop display in a full circle before eventually settling on him.

"Well this place definitely got upgraded from the last time I was here."

He shrugged nonchalantly. His office probably was the only room that he genuinely put any effort into in his apartment and his office was just about quarter way to looking like a fully realized recording studio as it was. What with the triple screen display, the silver plated turn tables and the surround sound stereos that looked like they belonged in a small theater.

"My family sent over a little money a week ago so I decided to,”He the put his fingers in quotation symbols "spruce the place up a little."

"That's obviously an understatement," Yuri took the time to look around himself again. "This stuff must have had to cost a fortune."

"No more than ice skating costs." And it didn't matter to him regardless since he was more willing to spend money on his music equipment than his figure skating equipment nowadays.

Yuri himself gave his own shrug and he was silently grateful that he didn't dig further into it because he wasn't really interested in discussing it at this time or anytime soon for the matter.

"Well," Yuri got up out of the chair he was sitting on and swung it around to face him. "Come on I wanna hear what you've been working on."

He grinned and made his way over to sit down in the chair before swiveling it back to face the desktops. Turning them on they all simultaneously turned purple and lit the room in a bright violet like glow. The startup theme for the computers was a smooth and fairly short melody that resounded through the speakers mounted on the walls and just after they finished starting up, the home screens displayed a high quality triptych picture of his home town of in Kazakhstan.

"Wow," Yuri whistled behind him. "Impressive."

He twisted slightly in the chair to look at Yuri out the corner of his eye. "Kind of worried my sets won't measure up if you honestly think the startup sequence of a computer is impressive."

That earned him a playful shove in the shoulder. "Okay what do you want to hear first?”

Yuri audibly hummed and made his way around the chair to brace himself against the counter.

“Surprise me.”

* * *

  
Being a list full of relatively new tracks, he had never really played them for anyone but himself and that was generally just to check for any errors or missteps. But somewhere along the 12 minute playlist time of the tracks and watching Yuri dance to them made him realize one of the reasons he loved doing in the first place. It wasn’t draining, or a job to him like figure skating had become, instead it was something that made him feel content and alive.

And in the same heartbeat looking at Yuri, he could feel that familiar twinge return to his chest just by looking at him.

The elastic around his ponytail now gone, his hair was free to flow untamed back and forth with every move that he made. There was a wildness and grace to it all, just as his figure skating did. The laughter that left his lips and the pure bliss that adorned his face was enough to cause that spark within his chest to set off smoke. He was enchanted.

So much in fact that He never noticed when the previous song came to an end and the very last track on the list to begin to play. One that he never meant anyone to hear yet. Quickly he went to pause it, but a pale hand covered his own before he could.

“It’s not finished yet.” It was a simple and not a very good one, but It was the only excuse he could come up with.

“Still,” Yuri was still slightly out of breath. “I wanna hear it.”

So he let it play.

And he could feel the nerves underneath his skin pick at his insides like pins but regardless he kept a calm exterior. Looking at Yuri his expression was dazed as the melodic chimes of the track came in and reverberated through the speakers  
behind them. It was completely melodic, unlike the other various songs in his playlist. There were no electronic sounds no heavy bass or thrumming drums, just the soft and soothing strumming of an electric guitar.

“It’s different...”Yuri began slowly as if he was still mulling over his thoughts on it, “But I like it.”

And suddenly the pins that he had felt underneath his skin gradually began to fade and then all at one when Yuri graced him with a small smile. Then he gave one back.

Turning slightly to the right, he pointed at a particular place beside the furthest desktop. “Hit that switch.”

Following the line of his finger, Yuri leaned over his shoulder, his hair brushing past his face as he reached to flick the switch upwards and as he did, a stream of blue laser lights shot down from the ceiling and other geometric shapes of various colors dotted it above as well. Yuri wandered to the center of the room where he then slowly circled in place to take in the hueful spectacle. The lasers and strobe lights were cued to change to the beat and mood of the song that play on his computer and as of now the lights were of a light blue, bathing the room as well as Yuri in its glow.

And he could barely take his eyes of off him as it did. Abruptly, Yuri made his way over back to where he sat and searched for one of the speakers hidden behind him. Turning the dial, he turned the speaker to a higher volume to the point where he had begun to feel the buzzing of the speakers within his ears. He looked on partly confused as to what Yuri was actually planning on doing until he stood back up straight and tugged on his right hand.

“Come dance with me.” It wasn’t a question yet a statement that caused him to involuntarily lock up due to it catching him so off guard.

“What?”

“Just come on.” He let himself be yanked upwards to the center of the room by Yuri who was still wearing that grand smile upon his face until they eventually came just underneath the strobe light embedded within the ceiling.

Yuri took his place directly in front of him so that he had nowhere to look but directly down at him.

“You don’t have to be so tense,” raising his hands he gingerly rested them on top of either of his shoulders. “it’s just me.”

Usually, the fact that it was wouldn’t bother him at all, yet now he could feel his own pulse race within his ears being within such close proximity of Yuri that it was starting to make the room spin.

But then Yuri raised his head and his eyes met with his own. And he swore he could see the entire night sky within them. In the lighting of the room they glowed, swirled in various shades of blue, green and specks of gold that made his breath catch in his throat. They had always been incredible to him...

His hands came to situate themselves loosely at Yuri’s waist and shortly after, they just began to sway in place in tune to the music. He didn’t know what he was doing exactly in that moment but he let his instinct guide him and his singular instinct was in the music. Breaking away from Yuri, he took his hand from his shoulder and prompted him to spin underneath his arm which Yuri followed with a chime of laughter back into his arms. Everything that proceeded to follow after that came so naturally. The dips that he lead Yuri into, so low that his hair skimmed the floor, the turns as well as steps that they took around the room and how easy it was to tune out everything else in his mind. The nagging voice in the back of his head telling them that he was in a bottomless rut and the feeling that he wasn’t going anywhere special in life. The only thing that mattered in that moment was the music...and the person in front of him.

As the time went by, they settled into swaying again, his arms now circled around Yuri’s waist and Yuri’s own around his neck. It didn’t take long after that for him to feel Yuri rest his head within the crook of his neck and readjust his arms so that his intertwined hands rested just at its base.

“We never did work on my program music.”

Yuri’s voice was slightly muffled due to the fact that his face was hidden but he heard the statement and smiled nonetheless.

“I know.”

Coming up with a track for Yuri wouldn’t be difficult though. He knew what he liked and what he didn’t. He had shed the whole Russian fairy persona, left it behind years ago and had taken up to doing more edgy and jagged routines. With a month and a half to go before competitions started he could knock it out in a week or two.

“Beka.”

He hummed lowly in wordless response only to see Yuri pick his head up out the corner of his eye to look at him squarely. Yuri’s searched the planes of his face momentarily, flicking back and forth between his lips as well as his eyes before beginning to lean into him. He body never moved, only his head to tilt slightly to the other side and wrap his arms tighter around Yuri’s waist in silent anticipation as his eyes slowly began to flutter shut. Yuri had drawn in so close that he cool feel the warmth of his breath on his face as well as the barely pressure of Yuri’s upper lip on his own and in that moment he could’ve have sworn that time seemed to slow down.

But then the shrill and vibration of his phone’s ringtone made its way to his ears.

They paused in both their actions, Yuri going back to stand flat on his feet, his arms unwinding slowly from his neck and his hold on Yuri’s waist beginning to lack until just his palms of his hands remained. Ringing incessantly now, it caused them to separate from each other completely, and in the time that he was reaching into his pocket to retrieve his phone he never caught the dejected expression that had etched itself into Yuri’s features. Yuri took to briefly biting at his knuckles before swiftly running a hand through his mane of hair while he skimmed his eyes over the familiar phone number that lined the top of his screen.

Looking back and forth between his phone and Yuri, who was expertly avoiding his gaze he then sighed.

“I’m- I have to take this.”

And Yuri just simply nodded. “It’s fine.”

He stared at the side of Yuri’s head in that minute, contemplating letting the call go to voicemail, even though he had been expecting it today, to smooth over this predicament he had found himself in but in the back of his mind he already knew it was too late to remediate it.

Pressing the green button to pick up the call he stalked outside the room and around the corner to lean against the adjacent wall.

“Uncle?”

* * *

 

The call hadn’t been that particular long in real time, but with the thought of what happened (or what almost happened) moments ago between him and Yuri clawing so relentless at him it seemed to take hours. As it ended he tucked his phone back into his pocket and quickly turned back into the studio in hopes that Yuri was still there, but before he could fully enter it, he ran straight into him.

“Yu-“

“I um,” he was doing the thing where he couldn’t quite meet his eyes again and it caused pang of hurt inside of him. “I think I’m just...gonna head home. It’s getting kind of late.”

The skittish nature of his words foretold that a level conversation between them about their previous actions wasn’t going to happen anytime soon and of course he didn’t want to pressure Yuri into it if he was seemingly avoiding the topic.

“Ah...sure. Do you want me to drive you home?”

“No, I mean I texted Yuuri, he’s actually waiting for me outside now.”

It was a bit dumb of a question in after thought, but then he hoped and figured even though with the tense air between them Yuri wouldn’t do something as foolish as to walk home in the current weather. And the fact that Yuuri and Viktor lived a good deal away from his flat meant that Yuri had to have contacted him the minute he left the room.

“Okay.” He wanted to say something else, anything really to remedy the situation, but words felt like 100 pound weights on his tongue. “See you later then.”

With a single nod Yuri briskly bounded past him around the corner to the front door and seconds later he heard the door slam shut.

He let go of the breath he literally as well as metaphorically had held through that entire ordeal and walked backwards until his back hit a wall. He knew exactly what had happened but somehow it was still such an intense blur. Before, the music had made everything seem so clear even with the noise of it all but now, even in the depth of silence everything was so deafening. The voice that had been tearing at him previously that he managed to tame even if for those few moments had resurfaced to the point where he could hear whispers. Taunting ones that caused him to screw his eyes shut to try and block them out, but even through that darkness, he could see flashes of colors, blacks, whites, blues, greens, golds-

_Yuri’s eyes..._

His smile and the laughter that somehow made the whispers dissipate down to the faintest hush so that he could find his center and breathe easy once more. Nothing really made sense to him and he was trying with everything he had in him to force it to, but the ends still weren’t clicking together, so for now, to hold things together he’d bridge the gap himself and grip the frays...just until the smoke cleared.

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got split into two, never thought it’d get so long...

He didn’t know exactly how long he’d actually been at the ice rink by now, but he knew that the hours or even minutes were just unbearably and slowly dragging on. Ever since a bad snow storm had hit the rink a few days ago, it had been closed down due to the electricity being knocked out. The storm itself was nothing that Russia hadn’t seen before but with him just now moving here it was a fairly new experience to him. Of course it snowed back home, but it was nowhere to the point that he had seen in the past few days. During the storm itself, he had been shacked up within his apartment with the heater on full blast dressed in the warmest tracksuit he could find as he worked endlessly on new tracks to add to his playlist as well as finish the songs that he had already been working on. Although it was still cold outside, the storm had settled almost completely now, with only a couple of inches of snow in its wake that was quickly melting with how brightly the sun was beginning to glean within the nearly cleared skies. With all the lost time that they had garnered, training today had been relentless and repetitive; filled with drills as well as open grouped sessions to preform the exact same sequences so that everyone could get the exact same amount of training in. Now with 7 hours having passed, which he could finally determine with checking his phone for the correct time, the team was now on their half an hour break which really wasn’t much of a break at all considering Yakov had still managed to sneak training into it. It mainly just consisted of what he deemed “free styling” which was basically skating around the rink up until 30 minutes were up. It was useful for the most part he guessed, he knew Yakov just wanted to ensure that everyone was prepped and ready for qualifiers this coming December, but he on the other hand was simply skating figure 8’s on the ice and curling around the rink at his own speed. His mind was currently far too preoccupied with other matters to focus on or do anything too mentally or physically strenuous in terms of skating.

Today was the day he was leaving for Kazakhstan for the weekend. It was a trip that had been planned for weeks between him and his uncle, who was actually the one flying him back out to his hometown and it was a welcome departure from the long hours of training he had been through this past month. He hadn’t been home in a little over a month and it had been even longer since he’d seen his uncle so he was more than looking forward to it, but despite his enthusiasm to go back to Almaty, he still felt weighed down with all his other responsibilities that seemed to be building up without him being able to do much of anything to narrow them down enough to be manageable. And even aside from that, there was an issue in particular that had been bothering him incessantly above everything else for the past week that he couldn’t really shake.

He couldn’t get the incident that had happened between him and Yuri earlier that week out of his head. No matter how hard he tried to forget it, it always managed to rear its head back into his thoughts to the point that had become entirely too vivid to only be a memory. Even now as he reminisced about it, he could remember every detail about that exact moment it happened; the lights as they streamed down from the ceiling, how they all bounced off of Yuri how amazing he had looked within it all... everything about it made his heart beat all that much faster, but it also made him remember that since that fateful day, he hadn’t seen Yuri around at all since then. In the beginning he amounted it to the snow storm as well as not being able to see each other at the rink due to it being shut down, but even after that and with the two days that it had been reopened he had been absent. He and Yuri more or less had the same training schedule and he knew that Thursdays and Fridays were the days that they saw each other the most so it was strange for him not to run into each other . He knew that it had ended so awkwardly between them both that Yuri had practically darted out of his apartment the first chance he got and left him in alone back in his apartment. The entire situation had left such a tense air between them that he wasn’t exactly sure what course of action he should take in order to rectify it and it left him confused. What had happened that night hadn’t been an accident on his end nor did he want to pass it off as one. He knew fully well what would have happened had his uncle not called him in that moment but what set him on edge was the fact that he didn’t know what Yuri thought about it. Now or then. He had thought about texting him various times today and in the past to try and make sense of it together, even if they just skimmed around the issue, but he didn’t want to corner Yuri or further the tension between them so he decided that he would give him the space that he seemingly required even though he wouldn’t deny that it was slowly tearing at him on the inside.

Apart from that and only as a concerned friend, he was still worried over the fact that he hadn’t seen or heard from Yuri in almost an entire week. Looking up from his blade trails upon the ice, he spotted Mila in one of the rink’s corners talking to another skater. He knew that even though the two did bicker frequently, Yuri and her were still close friends and figured that maybe he had told her something recently

Making his way over to the two he stopped just short of being directly at her side before calling out to her.

“Mila.”

Upon hearing her name the redhead stopped speaking to her companion to turn and face him before smiling.

“Oh hey Otabek,” she then leaned against the rink’s outer wall, perching her elbow upon its edge. “What brings you to this corner of the rink?”

He took a brief moment in order to phrase his question. “I actually just wanted to ask you about Yuri.”

Her eyebrow raised. “Really?” She then smirked. “Are you finally gonna ask him out? About time.”

Almost instantly he could feel a warm blush form underneath his cheeks as it then spread throughout his entire body and he could hear Mila laugh.

“I’m just joking Otabek.”

He then swallowed after regaining his composure. “No, it’s not that, I just...haven’t seen him around lately. I was wondering if you have, or if you’ve heard anything from him?”

She shook her head. “No I haven’t actually. I’ve tried texting him too earlier this morning when I saw he wasn’t here, but haven’t gotten anything back either. You tried calling him?”

He quirked his lip in thought. He hadn’t. Of course he had thought about it, multiple times even, but to think that when he did that Yuri wouldn’t pick up or for it to go straight to voice mail as soon as he tried to, he didn’t want to deal with it.

“I tried,” it wasn’t a complete lie. “He’s not answering.”

“Well,” Mila began, "Knowing him his phone’s probably on silent or he might have overslept. Either way I don’t think it’s really anything to worry over, I’m sure he’s fine.”

He watched as Mila pushed off of the rink’s wall and towards the center of the ice with the other skater following closely behind soon after. She then looked at him over her shoulder. “He’s a big boy, Otabek, Kitten can handle himself.”

And he knew Yuri could, but there was still that nagging voice within the back of his head telling him otherwise.

* * *

Practice was over around five and unlike the other days where he would usually stay behind, though that was mostly due to Yuri staying late, he was the first to leave. He needed to anyway, what with him still needing to finish a mental list of tasks before he headed out to the airport to catch his flight later tonight. Despite waking up with more or less a good amount of energy this morning, as the day went on he was beginning to feel increasingly sluggish and it was beyond the usual end of the day fatigue. Hearing his stomach growl on top of that seconds later just drove him to believe that it might have just been all in hunger and considering the fact that he hadn’t really eaten that much today, he guessed now would have been better than later. Conveniently enough though, there was a place on his walk home from the rink that he always went to ever since he found out about it once he moved here. Rounding a corner, it stood within the center of a group of other stores with two small black tables seated at its front with a sign protruding from its roof that simply translated into something along the lines of “coffee shop” in Russian. Pushing his way into the small corner restaurant he found that it was slightly busy, which wasn’t too much of a surprise since it was within the evening time, but what was slightly surprising to him was seeing a familiar had of bright silver hair standing at the cashier counter of the store. There were about 4 people before him in line excluding the person upfront that looked too familiar to be a coincidence and he knew by the time he got up there that the person would have already left by then, so he knew he couldn't wait, stepping out of line, he walked over and he stood right beside the taller man and watched as he took his wallet out of his coat pocket before calling out to him.

“Viktor?”

The gray haired man’s head perked upwards and turned to face him with somewhat widened eyes before his demeanor then relaxed.

“Oh Otabek hi, it’s nice to see you.”

Standing before Viktor was somewhat strange to him considering as of late he’s never seen him face to face. He only seldomly saw him from a far whenever he came down to the rink to give demonstrations to the other skaters,  
which he had been told he was today in fact.

“Are you heading over to the rink?" he questioned. "Practice just ended.”

The man shook his head. “I know and I was, but I called Yakov and told him that I’d have to call out for today.”

“Why, did something happen?”

“Not to me no,” Viktor clarified. “It’s Yuri.”

“Yuri?”he could feel a hint of dread drop into his stomach.

It had been about maybe a year and a half ago when everyone had dropped the “o” off of Yuri’s nickname and just started calling him by his actually name, on account of Yuri’s constant rage over it. But of course there was still the lingering confusion of the two Yuri’s constantly getting mixed up with each other.

“Sorry, little Yuri,” he spoke, handing the cashier a crisp bill. “Yes he’s sick. Came down with the flu.”

And at that moment, the drop of dread turned into that of a pool and he heart began to beat with a quickened pace.

“How long has he had it?”

“I’m not sure to be honest,” the cashier then handed Viktor a plastic bag full of containers of steaming liquids and other contents. “I got a call from him about 3 days ago...he sounded awful so I went to go check on him and he could barely stand straight. He’s staying at our apartment now just until it passes.”

He wasn’t exactly sure to process the newfound information that he had just been given for It had left him in somewhat of a dazed state, but his hand went straight for the cellphone in his pocket in the meantime. Turning it on he looked down at it and checked the few messages he had sent to Yuri this past and saw that the dates had all matched up. He had just assumed that Yuri needed space and was maybe avoiding him ever since the incident that happened but he never would have guessed...

“Are you heading back there now?”

“Yea I am,” he watched as Viktor tied the plastic bag loops in a loose knot. “I just came down here because he said that he liked this store soup th-“

“Do you mind if I ride back with you?”

With furrowed brows, Viktor took the change from the cashier tucked it within his wallet and placed it back within his trench coat pocket before turning to look at him

“Of course.”

* * *

 

To say that he was on edge the entire ride to Viktor’s apartment was an understatement, but he hid it well enough. He was sure that Viktor had caught onto it though seeing as he kept quiet the entire ride over and whenever he did speak it was never to pry or more than a few words long. He had been sending sporadic texts Yuri’s way the entire ride, hoping that he would answer to one of them, but unfortunately for all 3 of them, they went without a response. Upon arriving, he was quick to get out of the car and Viktor was two steps behind him as the made their way up the front steps of the building, through the revolving doors and into the lobby. After stepping inside and briefly taking small details in, he thought that if he was in the right state of mind, he would have marveled at the building’s interior.

It was so regal and upscale; filled with gold trimmings, red satin rugs and furnishings as well as a flashy chandelier that hung from the ceiling with crystals lining its edge. But for now he could only focus on one thing. He remembered Yuri telling him that Viktor lived in the penthouse suite on the top floor of the building, which was on the 22nd floor and he cursed underneath his breath at the revelation. Viktor reached out to type in his code for the top floor and he watched as the gold doors slowly closed in front of him. Every passing minute he was in there only made him grow that much more tense. People came, entered and left and that process repeated for about 5 times before they even made it half way. He clenched his fingers into a fist and uncurled them within that same second, just trying to find any way to relieve his anxiousness, but a las it did nothing. It was only then when he felt a firm hand on his shoulder that he looked up and saw Viktor’s placating expression that he managed to calm himself even remotely.

“He’s going to be okay Otabek don’t worry.”

But Viktor’s words did little to soothe him. About 15 minutes later they made it to the top floor and they were met with a long open arched corridor with a single set of double doors at the end of it. They both made their way down the corridor, himself slightly ahead of Viktor until they actually came to the double doors. Viktor pulled out a key card from his wallet, tapped it against the gold card reader mounted upon the door and as the button gleamed grew the door also simultaneously opened. Stepping inside, the flat was honestly enormous and could easily be mistaken for an entire house if no one knew otherwise.

“Otabek?” Turning his attention to what he presumed to be the living room, he saw Yuuri stepping from behind the couch and coming to stand a few feet away from him. "Is Viktor with-“

“I’m here,” at that moment the door closed and Viktor appeared from around the corner with the plastic bag in hand. “We ran into each other at the store. He just wanted to come by and see Yuri.”

He then turned back to face the Japanese man. “Is he around?”

Yuuri nodded “ Yea...he’s in the guest room.”

“Come on,” Viktor walked past him to set the plastic bag upon the kitchen island and beckoned him with a tilt of his head. “I’ll show you.”

Letting him lead the way, he followed Viktor down a corridor lined with numerous arches that lead to various open rooms until they came to a single one the had a door just beyond it on the left.

“He’s through here,”Viktor went to unlock the door and pushed it ajar. “He’s probably still sleeping though.”

He nodded and stepped in front of Viktor to take hold of the door handle himself before pushing in the door completely. The room now illuminated, he took note of it's largeness. It was just as extravagant as the rest of the suite despite it just being the guest room, but upon gazing over it's entirety it was then that he noticed the bed adorned with a mound of covers as well as the body hidden underneath it.

“We’ll be out in the living room if you need anything.”

He acknowledged Viktor’s statement with a single nod, then he heard the door close behind him. Standing in place by the bedroom door he was frozen. He felt nervous in a way because he as long as he had known Yuri he'd never seen him ill before so there was no way to deduce how bad it could be. Slowly, he made his way over to the spare chair situated beside the bed and gingerly took perch upon it, scooting it up slightly so he knees grazed the bed’s edge. Yuri was indeed sleeping. His eyelashes fanned out over his paler than normal cheeks with his lips slightly parted as a soft wheeze like snore escaped from them. He placed the palm of his hand upon the middle of Yuri’s forehead and could feel the pulsing heat from underneath his skin.

Seeing him like this only served to remind him of his mother when he was younger when she had came down with a same illness. It was a repressed memory, because it did nothing but remind him of what happened that unfortunate day but it scared him nonetheless. He wasn’t exactly sure how far along Yuri was in his sickness but he knew for his mother, it came to a point where it had descended into severe pneumonia and she was completely bed ridden. All the life had drained from her skin and eyes. She was gray, cold and her eyes a bloodshot red. His mother, who had always been a strong and powerful woman was reduced to a frail husk of her former self and it caused a physically ached him to think about her now. In the back of his mind he knew that Yuri was nowhere as sick as his mother had been and would probably recover soon enough but he couldn’t help but be apprehensive. On the way here, he thought that if Yuri hadn’t been asleep that maybe he could have told him about his trip like he wanted to instead of through text or a call but he knew it wasn’t an option anymore. Neither was siting here in hopes that maybe he’d awake before he’d have to leave so he’d just have to settle for the latter. Sighing, he dropped his hand from the burning plane of his forehead to the side of his face he ran his fingers through his loose, limp hair.

With Yuri being sick he’d want nothing more than to stay at his side and wait for him to hopefully break free of it, but he knew he couldn’t. Taking his eyes off of Yuri for a moment, he caught sight of the blue and yellow colors of his team Kazakhstan jacket resting on the ottoman at the end of the bed as well as his black scarf. For all of the past week, he had forgotten he even lent them to Yuri all those days ago before they had left the rink. Getting up from the chair he went take hold of it in his hand and walked back over towards Yuri to drape it over his form; taking in one last full sight of him before turning to exit the room.

* * *

  
He made his way back to the living room shortly after where Yuuri and Viktor still presided and leaned against one of the walls adjacent to it before crossing his arms over his chest.

“How’d he get sick?”

The two already sensing his presence both turned around simultaneously to face him, but Yuuri was the one who answered him first.

“Potya,” he then looked directly at the Japanese man. “Apparently she got out of one of the windows of his apartment and wandered off one night and he went out to find her.”

Despite the current situation he couldn’t help but to smile. It was typical, Potya meant everything to him and he’d do anything for her. Including sacrificing his own health to make sure he didn’t loose her to Russia’s freezing cold.

“She’s always been a sneaky little thing,”Viktor set down the mug of coffee he’d been sipping on. “Always getting into trouble and getting into things that she shouldn’t. I’m just glad Yuri’s okay...well relatively speaking anyway.”

As was he. Of course the flu was nothing to pass off but he knew inside that it could have ended much worse. Feeling his phone buzz against his thigh, he reached into his pocket to to retrieve it and looked at the gray bar that appeared at the top of the screen before it faded away. The text was from his uncle, a short one that detailed his flight for later tonight as well as a few other accommodations that he almost forgot about with the heat of everything. The text itself just served to remind him the his flight time was drawing nearer and soon enough, he’d have to set out home. He’d be back Monday, early Tuesday at best, but it still bothered him that he wasn’t going to be able to tell Yuri bye in person or the fact that he probably wasn’t going to know where he was until he later on or after he even got to Kazakhstan in the morning. Placing the phone within his jacket pocket, he stood up straight and the two men gazed up at him questioningly.

“Everything all right?” Viktor asked.

“Yea, my uncle just sent me my check in ticket for my flight tonight at 8:30.”

“Flight?” Yuuri asked.

“I’m going home for the weekend and Monday.”

“That’s nice,”Viktor spoke. “Being far from home has to make you homesick. I can take you home and to the airport if you want.”

“I’d appreciate it, thank you.”

“Okay I’ll just go grab my coat and then we can go,” getting up from his spot on the couch, Viktor ducked down to place a caste kiss upon Yuuri’s cheek. “I’ll be back.”

 

* * *

  
Getting to his apartment wasn’t an issue thanks to Viktor driving (slightly) above the speed limit so he still had an hour and a half to spare between now and when he got there. Smart enough, he made sure to have all his belongings packed into his suitcase and have everything ready by the door for whenever he got back home so he could simply grab everything and go, but in that moment he just remembered something back in his studio. Jogging towards it, he flicked on the room’s light and spotted the familiar purple CD case he left on his desk this morning. Grabbing it, he placed it within his hoodie’s pocket turned off the light and headed out the room.

* * *

  
By the time he had got back to Viktor’s car, placed everything in the trunk and sat back down within the passenger’s seat it was 7:11 from what he could read on the car’s dashboard in the darkness. With everything that had occurred today he was honestly surprised that he was making this well of time.

“Got everything?”

He nodded. “Yea, I’m good.”

Viktor gave a single incline of his head before he put the car into reverse and was backing out of the apartment’s parking lot into the street. The ride ahead, like the one previously earlier in the day was a quiet one, but this time he could tell that there was something on Viktor’s mind and that he was just trying to find the right time to speak on it and in the next 5 minutes of it, he found it.

“Is everything okay between you and Yuri?”

His entire demeanor perked upwards at the question. He couldn’t say that he was expecting it but he also couldn’t say that he wasn’t.

“What do you mean?”

Viktor shrugged slightly. “You two are best friends, no? Every time we’d ever mention your name, he’d go on and on about you, but ever since he’s been at our apartment, even despite him being sick, he’d avoid ever bringing you up.”

Now he could easily say he expected that, but even in-spite of it, he couldn’t deny that it did hurt slightly.

“I don’t mean to pry," Viktor continued. "But he’s just so happy around you...are you two...fighting or something?”

“No we’re not,” he spoke. “It’s just...earlier this week something...happened between us...and I guess we’re just trying to give each other some room to figure everything out."

Viktor’s brows furrowed as his lips then pursed slightly as if he was thinking about the possibilities of what the “something” was and process the information himself, but then his features gradually relaxed.

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“No I haven’t,” he ran his fingers through his hair as he sat further back into the car seat. “I wanted to, even the same day that it actually happened, but with me going to Kazakstan and him being sick I guess I’m just going to have to wait until I get back or he’s not sick anymore.”

Though to be honest he secretly hoped that he wouldn’t have to wait any longer than he already had. If he had to he wasn’t exactly sure how he was going to have to frequently be in the same room as him and have to avoid each other constantly. Silence over took them briefly before Viktor decided got speak again.

“Well whatever happened between you two, I hope you two work it out eventually...you’re good for each other.”

Viktor offered a small smile to him along with an underlying meaning to his words that he was sure he meant for him to decode on his own. He’d heard it before, from other various people that he was the only person who’d actually managed to mellow Yuri out and as Viktor said before make him honestly “happy”. But he knew the sense in which Viktor was presenting it within and it wasn’t within the same light as how others had. He and Viktor had never talked that much before and he based their relationship on the fact that he was close to Yuri and therefore grew to be acquainted through that but regardless, he appreciated the words he offered him.

Minutes later, they arrived at the airport terminal at Pulkovo and Viktor stopped just short of the entrance. He then looked at him before exiting the car. “Thanks for the ride, Viktor.”

“No problem,” he then reached over to pop the trunk of the car. “Let us know when you land if you can.”

Closing the door. He went to unload his suitcase from the trunk and then shut it after he had. Pressing the button on the handle bar to release the elongate it, he began to roll it forward and walk towards the airports large glass door but he halted in his step. Leaving the suitcase where it was he briskly made his way back to Viktor’s door who was thankfully still parked on the curb and pulled the purple case out of his hoodie pocket before knocking on the window. Viktor who had been on his phone, looked upwards briefly before gradually rolling door the window and leaning over sideways.

“I almost forgot but," he held up the case for the other man to see. "Do mind giving this to Yuri when you get back?”

Handing the case Viktor the case through the window, the man took it and placed it within the glove compartment of the car.

“Not at all.”

* * *

 

Waking up from such deep slumber, Yuri wondered why he still felt like shit and how he managed to have a splitting headache. Looking out the window, it was pretty much pitch black outside which was a stark contrast to the blurry blue skies he had fallen asleep to earlier which meant he had been asleep for hours.

Great...

He flipped the mountain of comforters off of him and sat up, twisting himself so that his legs hung over the side of his bed as he placed his palm to his forehead. It was meant with a thin veil of perspiration from him still burning up internally which he wiped on his shirt. Getting up groggily he struggled slightly to gain his footing and as he did he felt something slide off of him and onto the floor. Looking door he realized that it was actually Otabek’s team Kazakstan jacket that he had given him earlier that week that he hadn’t had the chance to return. Picking it up he slipped it on slowly arm by arm before making his way to the bedroom’s door and pulling it open to walk outside. He saw the blue reflection of the living room’s TV bounce of the wall nearby his room which meant that the idiots were still awake. Walking towards the border of the living room he stopped just short of it and folded his arms across his chest before he sniffled.

“Did one of you put this on me while I was sleeping?”

“No,”Viktor spoke,”We haven’t really been in your room today that much today.”

Yuuri then twisted slightly to briefly look at Yuri over his shoulder. “It was probably Otabek.”

Yuri could feel his chest constrict at the mention of the name.

“Otabek was here?”

“Yea, Maybe about 6 hours ago? It was earlier this morning,” Yuuri paused shortly. “He came by after he heard you were sick to check in on you.”

And Yuri didn’t know whether to curse at himself that he had been asleep during that time or be thankful that he had been because in his mind he still wasn’t exactly sure if he was ready to completely face Otabek yet after what happened.

  
“Well,” he began softly. “Where is he?”

“I just got back from dropping him off at the airport.” Viktor spoke, taking of his trench coat and neatly folding it over the back of the couch before sitting down beside Yuuri.

“The airport?”Yuri echoed.

“He’s going back to Kazakhstan to visit family for the weekend. He said he’ll be back around Monday or Tuesday though.”

Yuri looked on in confusion, staring at the wooden floor beneath his feet, but upon hearing shuffling he then looked back upwards

“But here.” Yuuri stood up from the couch and made his way around to stand in front of him as Yuri’s eyes darted to the item the man held in his hand.

“What is it?”

Yuuri shrugged. “I’m not exactly sure, but Otabek wanted us to give it to you. It's a CD though.”

Yuri took the thin plastic container that held the disc from Yuri’s hand and analyzed it briefly before tucking it into the jacket’s pocket.

“Whatever, thanks,” he then turned back around. “I’m going back to bed.”

* * *

 

Coming back to his room he shut the door behind him, locking it before he went to sit back upon the bed within the center of the room. Reaching over to turn on the lamp within the darkness of the room, he tilted the disc within its light to read the sticker on its face and It simply read “To Yuri” in Otabek’s cursive hand writing. he regretted that he had nothing here to play it on to see what exactly it held. He had left his laptop back at his own apartment and the only computer they had here was in the living room, so he’d have to wait. He figured it’d have to be music, or a video of some sort, it was from Otabek and a CD after all. He placed the CD case upon the bedside dresser and folded his legs underneath one another before reaching to grab his phone. Checking it, he scrolled through its contents and saw that he the few incoming texts Otabek had sent to him from the past week, including the one from today that had went unreplied to as well as one missed called from him that had gone to his voicemail. Scrolling through the apps on his phone he found the voicemail icon and tapped upon it to reveal a list of all the unopened ones within his call list. The very top one that was the newest one that had been sent was from Otabek’s number and only 15 seconds long. He didn’t know what to expect from it but his thumb hovered over the play button for a solid minute before he finally decided to click on it. What he heard when he pressed play was the sound of hundreds of people muffled within the background as well as an automated voice calling out what he assumed was flight numbers, but soon enough it all seemed to die down before Otabek spoke.

**_“Hey Yuri...I’m going back home for a couple of days. I should be back around Tuesday, but uh... I hope you feel better soon.”_ **

The recording went silent for about 5 seconds after he finished and soon enough it completed. The electronic voicemail machine came through a second later, listing through the options regarding the voicemail but he ended the call before it could get a single word out and through his phone somewhere onto his bed. It hadn't been much, but after listing to Otabek’s voicemail he felt like shit, but for an entirely different reason this time than just being sick. He hated the fact that hadn’t spoken face to face to each other in so long. Hated the fact that the only person who he really considered a “best friend” was seemingly treading so cautiously around him because he had been an idiot who had went and tried to kiss him that day, but even through it all, he didn’t regret it.

He pulled Otabek’s jacket tighter around his shoulders and hid his face in the collar. Even after wearing it himself, and it not being in the other boy’s possession he could still smell his scent on it. Rosemary and the warm cologne that he usually wore that somehow cleared all his senses despite how stuffy nose was. Zipping the jacket up to his neck he then laid himself down on his side and pulled the comforter up to his chest.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will mainly be from Otabek’s POV but it will switch to Yuri’s sometimes throughout. I’ll try to update weekly though. Thanks for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.


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